Walking Through Grief

Sometimes, very hard things happen in life that cause great sadness and pain. Grief is what happens when you lose someone or something very special to you. This loss could come from a divorce or from the death of a person or a pet. Grief is different for every person. It can affect both your body and your emotions. Grief is shown physically: You might have headaches, stomachaches, or have tightness in your chest. You might feel tired or not be able to sleep, not want to eat, or have trouble concentrating. Grief is also shown emotionally: You might cry, get angry easily, or feel extreme sadness. You might even feel guilty or overwhelmed. Maybe you might feel like there is no other kid who’s had to go through what you’re going through (there are!). Perhaps you wonder about your faith, feel angry at God, or have doubts about his care. All of these thoughts, feelings, and physical reactions are normal and each person feels and shows grief in different ways.

What can you do when grief is hard? In Psalm 27:5, David says that God protects you and keeps you safe. Here are some things to remember when grief feels unbearable:

• Talk to God. He understands your pain. He understands if you feel angry at him or have doubts about his love and care for you, and he doesn’t love you any less for feeling this way. Talking with God doesn’t mean that all your bad thoughts and feelings will go away. But it does mean that you're following the Bible's instruction: "God cares for you, so turn all your worries over to him." (1 Peter 5:7).

• Talk to a parent, school counselor, or another trusted adult. You might feel shy or not want to talk about your feelings, but it’s important not to keep your feelings inside. What caused your grief is not your fault. Nothing you did or didn’t do caused this to happen. There may be groups of kids in your community who are also grieving. Getting together can really help you work through your grief, even if that seems scary at first. Ask a trusted adult to look into kids’ support groups in your community or local church.

• Find an outlet. You can also help manage your feelings by writing in a journal, creating art, being physical (running, biking, walking, playing a sport), being with friends, or playing games with a family member.

• Remember who you lost. Whoever you lost will always be a part of your life, even if they aren’t physically here anymore. Find ways to remember them. Some ideas include making a memory box, writing a letter, planting a flower or tree, writing a story or book, or drawing a picture.

God assures you that he cares about and understands your pain. Getting through your times of grief doesn’t mean you’ll get “over it.” Healthy grieving does mean that you will find ways to continue on without your loved one or without the situation you loved. You can also hold onto God's promises that he will turn your weeping into dancing (Psalm 30:11-12) and that he will wipe away your tears and your sorrow will be no more (Revelation 21:4). What a wonderful hope to have!

Prayer

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